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October 02, 2008

Digital Epidural, Volume 18

By Michelle Boudreau at 03:36 PM| Permalink | Comments (1)

I've always imagined myself having a boy first. And to be perfect honest, my gender detection instincts tell me that the baby will be a boy. However, these instincts are not based on any kind of fact, logic or track record. However, the other night I had a dream that the baby was a girl. (I've also had dreams of having a boy for anyone trying to dig too deep a meaning.) My dream got me thinking about being a mom to a girl and her looking to me as her first example of what a woman should be. I always looked to my mom as an example of how a woman should act, what she should say, and what she could do.

With that in mind, if our little baby turns out to be a girl these are the things that I, at this point in my life, would like her to learn about what being a woman means:

1.Women are strong, physically, emotionally and mentally. This does not mean that it's not OK to cry or to ask a man to open a jar for you. That does not make you weak. Allowing anyone to dominate you, physically, emotionally or mentally, is what will make you weak.

2. Women and men are not the same. We need to celebrate our differences. Equality with men is important, but equality does not mean being identical.

3. Your career is in your hands. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not qualified to do something because you're a woman. No matter what you choose to do -- astronaut, doctor, lawyer, stay at home mom -- pursue it with your whole heart and full of passion.

4. Being smart and being pretty are not mutually exclusive. One of the most fun things about being female is the fashion, make-up and style that are uniquely our own. Don't feel like you have to forgo those things in order for someone to take you seriously. And, most importantly, don't ever play down your intellectual ability for the sake of a boy's ego.

5. Sports are not just for boys. Both the enjoyment garnered from playing and watching them belong to you too.

6. Women come in all shapes and sizes. Be healthy and whatever body that state of being generates, embrace it. Life would be boring if every woman wore a size 0. Happy people are always more beautiful than miserable people.

7. Do not depend on anyone else to define who you are as a person. Figure out who you are separate and apart from anyone else. The important people in your life will help shape who you become, but it's up to you to put those pieces together to make a whole person.

8. Every girl has an awkward phase. We get braces and pimples and have a bad hair cut and feel like we will never be pretty. You will become more beautiful each day of your life due in no small part to the confidence you will gain along the way.

9. Don't confuse love and sex. If a boy really loves you, he will wait for you. If he tries to get you to sleep with him by telling you he loves you, he doesn't really love you.

10. When you find that man that you will spend the rest of your life with, cherish him. Treat him the way you want him to treat you.

This is the woman I strive to be and the woman I hope I raise a daughter to be.